


i will sing to you a song (thirty days of joshler)

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Questioning Religion, thasgay, will update the tags as necessary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:44:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7363573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>one songshot a day for the duration of camp nanowrimo (july 2k16). will they be connected? will this turn into a story? will it be sad? who knows right?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will sing to you a song (thirty days of joshler)

**Author's Note:**

> hifrens  
> this is what i'll be working on instead of ode to you this month (RIP it)  
> (ode to you isn't dead i just miss it but i don't have the time to work on it)

Tyler was seventeen years old when he questioned God for the first time.

It had never occurred to him to wonder why the world was so broken, why his friends were allowed to die, why his mind was allowed to be his worst enemy. It had never occurred to him that fixing things and making things right was supposed to be God's, well, _thing_. 

It had never occurred to him that maybe the preacher behind the pulpit that his parents loved so dearly might not understand what everyone was going through. 

Years later his thoughts became words, and his words became songs. But never actions. He still went to church with his family, still prayed like there was no tomorrow, hoped and prayed and begged God to save him with all of his strength and might. 

Tyler was tired. 

So it was no surprise that when he went over to his friend, Josh's, house one day just to hang out and the topic of church was brought up, Tyler sighed. He was so tired. 

"Am I a bad person for getting mad at Him sometimes?" For a moment, Josh only stared. So with shaking hands and eyes glued on the scant amount of couch between them, he continued. “I mean, He’s capable of all this stuff but the world is burning. People are dying. Killing each other. People are killing  _ themselves _ . This place is a mess, and He isn’t doing anything, even though He could and well all know He could.”

It suddenly struck Tyler that maybe Josh wasn’t having the same struggles he was having with his faith, and maybe it was really freaking stupid of him to ramble such blasphemy to him. “Sorry,” he muttered, starting to shrink into himself. “Ignore that, it doesn’t matter.” His eyes flickered up to the TV screen playing an old VeggieTales movie, over to the front door he could so easily bolt right out of and save himself the anger or the embarrassment, down to the scratchy carpet until his eyes fell shut and he held his breath.

“Tyler.” He flinched a little at the hand suddenly resting on his upper back. “Hey. Look at me.”

He couldn’t do it. He shook his head sharply, bracing himself.”

“Please?”

A pause. Tyler’s lips dropped open with a defeated sigh, and he looked up at Josh warily. 

Josh smiled down at him, sliding his hand up to comb soothingly through his hair, and Tyler relaxed gratefully, leaning into the touch. “I think He can take it.”

Tyler smiled back.

All of a sudden Josh was pulling Tyler into a kind of awkward still sitting hug, but he didn’t mind it one bit. Instead, he leaned against Josh’s chest, shuffling around until his legs rested comfortably in Josh’s lap, and his head fit itself against the crook of Josh’s neck. 

Tyler and Josh cuddled a lot. It wasn’t a gay thing, he didn’t think. He just really, really trusted Josh. 

Apparently, his trust materialized in the form of physical affection he was too scared to show toward anyone, sometimes including his own family. So he really wasn’t too surprised that he’d somehow ended up in Josh’s lap, snuggling up against him and allowing the soft  _ thump-thump _ of Josh’s heartbeat to slow his breathing. 

“You know,” Josh murmured, his voice breaking off into a quiet chuckle, “for someone who writes some of the shadiest lyrics about God-”

“Joshua Dun, did you just call my songs shady?”

At that, Josh outright laughed, hiding his face in Tyler’s hair, lips pressed firmly to his head through the thick fluff of his hair that Josh claimed approximately daily was soft and fun to play with and so, so  _ fluffy _ . “Am I wrong?” he asked honestly, still kind of giggling into Tyler’s hair. “You know what I mean, though. You call people out. Sometimes, People happens to be God.”

“Yeah.”

“And you haven’t been struck by lightning yet.” This time, Tyler laughed. “Seriously, I think he can take the heat. We’re all just tiny humans and he’s… y’know,  _ God _ .”

“Yeah.” Tyler nodded into Josh’s neck, letting out a soft sigh. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

With a groan, Tyler shoved Josh away, which only made Josh laugh louder. “You’re insufferable. Why do I hang out with you.”

“You love me.”

At that, Tyler shrugged. “That’s fair.”

Josh beamed at the confirmation, a laugh on his lips that sent a shockwave through Tyler’s chest and made him stare. He leaned back against the corner of the couch, burrowing into the pillow and watching Josh as he got up to search for the remote- his parents were leaving the house, and he wanted to be rebellions and watch Titanic. (Titanic, of all movies to rebel and watch.)

“I wrote a new song the other day,” he murmured half into the pillow, half into the silence as Josh sat himself down cross-legged and opened up the Titanic DVD case. 

Immediately Josh’s head whipped around, curiosity burning in his gaze. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s sick, dude.” A pause. Josh set the DVD case down. “Can I hear it?”

Tyler paused. Glanced down at the floor, over at the door again. Looked back at Josh. “Where’s your keyboard?”

The only person who had (accidentally) heard his newest song was his mom. Not even his  _ band- _ and he was in a band, and it wasn’t with Josh, and it kind of made his heart ache because Josh was Josh- had heard it yet. But he was going to show Josh. 

Tyler trusted Josh with his deeply personal and outright terrifying-to-share music. He trusted Josh, period.


End file.
